Posted by: SPT | August 26, 2010

Tarrega-inspired

I felt like being romantic, so here I go. I’ll try to incorporate it into a single flow, but no promises shall be made. I’m trying to be romantic now, let the passion slide off my face, not lies or time wasted on sayings that I’ll never treat sane.

My heart is wrecked, searching for the thread. I am in shambles, but No, I will not let someone else come to my bedside.

I’ve seen my emotions far too blue to let myself ride with the wind in this delicate moment. I’ve lost myself for an infinite reason that I could never end, so in the past I went farther within. I knew the territory was not mine to begin with. But dangerous and aloof, I felt forced to dilute my emotions with another pool. So I went out on my mission, however dangerous I must have visioned, to seek my lost passion amidst the open sea. Only when I returned from that voyage, I had simply gained experience.

How does one value time, when it’s forever fleeting? I looked into each moment, into each memory, and tried to cherish its gravity. The laughs and smiles and the wicked charm that set its compass forever North, I felt like most of it was fate and so I traveled wherever pulled. But now in a disconnected state, I learned the harsh reality of the world we all exist within.

Every rollercoaster ride takes me from the skies back to earth, grounded back to where I could touch dirt. Washing my hands with the sins of my past, I touched down and felt the ground underneath my poetic stance. I wanted to be romantic, so with the land I danced. I lifted myself back off for a momentary chance to retouch the heavens, but surely enough I lacked the thread. Gravity pushed me back down as heavy as I had left.

I still search for the missing links, the ties that hold together even the weakest emotions, but instead of coming together, I found myself splitting. Whether it’s in wallowing woes that brought me as low as my toes, I felt the strength run through me, current flow. There was so much sadness in what happened, but the tears served as empathy. Allowing me to move like the trees with the wind that runs free, I let the river running down my cheeks dry into eternity. Although I was still on a mission, I accepted time as part of me and the experiences were my misery and love. They served as my solace and my departure. Destination still unchecked, perhaps my flow through life and its seas were meant to be, just as time continues to bleed eternally.

My heart and time both settle for the painful memories and absolute victories, unable to appreciate each. But as I leave, I still remain hopeful that I can always remain the romantic “me”.

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