Posted by: SPT | March 17, 2013

Momentary Pause

I discovered something about me today… I want to refer to my discovery as a “writer’s momentary pause.”

I couldn’t write for a long time, because I had a writer’s momentary pause. Not a writer’s block, where one is searching for the right words but unable to express himself, but a writer’s momentary pause.

I’m not sure if I’m a writer, an artist, some weird combination of the two, or neither. I love to write and express myself eloquently, but I must admit the words are never my own. I may produce them, and my fingers might be behind each keystroke, but the thought and observations I have are dependent on my environment, the people in my life, and the emotions they bring or elicit.

For a while there, I wanted to write, but each attempt was disconnected and lacking cohesion. It made me think about the purpose of writing, and why I even made attempts. It placed a spotlight on the question of who my audience would be and whether they even cared. One would think the most pressing issue was whether I lost my ability to write altogether, but that wasn’t it. I simply needed a writer’s momentary pause.

I want to write again, and as a matter of fact, I wrote something today. Not because it felt necessary, but because it felt right. My heart and mind were wrenched, and I knew just the tool to fix the dilemma.

Sometimes I just need to have that momentary pause just to become cognisant of life again, so I can reconnect with my environment and the emotions that fuel my actions. I need to accept that I can’t control the pace or timing that life has, but I need to be willing to take advantage of the moments that I have control over.

This moment is mine.

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